she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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