Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
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If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
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Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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