She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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