the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
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