I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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