do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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