I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize