he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
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You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
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You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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