Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
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then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
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