i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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