I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize