Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
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