Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now

(917): View more from New York City

Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway

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(917): Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now (917): Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway http://tfl.nu/aof1

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(248): View more from Michigan

I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy

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(248): I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy http://tfl.nu/0s17

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(952): View more from Minnesota

Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.

(612): View more from Minnesota

I wish i was spraying into your jaw.

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(952): Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw. (612): I wish i was spraying into your jaw. http://tfl.nu/v3tm

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(916): View more from California

How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

(1-916): View more from California

Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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(916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax

Replies (27) Good night (3844) Bad night (1036)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...

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(978): guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out... http://tfl.nu/78da

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(917): View more from New York City

you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?

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(917): you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom? http://tfl.nu/36az

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(214): View more from Texas

he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'

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(214): he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true' http://tfl.nu/1kz1

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent

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(918): We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent http://tfl.nu/74gr

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(585): View more from New York

He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.

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(585): He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius. http://tfl.nu/hqjt

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(201): View more from New Jersey

A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.

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(201): A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus. http://tfl.nu/oh1b

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(919): View more from North Carolina

porn star boner night. come get it.

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(919): porn star boner night. come get it. http://tfl.nu/vz2z

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you

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(262): he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you http://tfl.nu/6gzr

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(541): View more from Oregon

I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue

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(541): I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue http://tfl.nu/me08

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(801): View more from Utah

"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.

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(801): "Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much. http://tfl.nu/4lhq

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(757): View more from Virginia

do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress

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(757): do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress http://tfl.nu/1usj

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