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Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
porn star boner night. come get it.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Randomize
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