So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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