.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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