Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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