He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MIDGETS
????
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I want to fling myself into the sun
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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