let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
is wine microwaveable?
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The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
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I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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