I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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