dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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