They should really pass out barf bags in church
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize