Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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