Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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