grandma shit on top of the toilet
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
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I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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