Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize