Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
You've changed since you got that strap on
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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