i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize