so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize