If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize