I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So squirting runs in the family.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize