Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
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