just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Is it because I queefed?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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