Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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