so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
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Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
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It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
You don't make any sense
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