but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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