There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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