I look better un-naked...
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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