Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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