i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize