I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize