i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are my feet made of real feet?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize