You just made me feel so damn special
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize