i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize