I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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