I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
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Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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