Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize