weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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