FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
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Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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