Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize