I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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