we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize