He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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